Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To dry land Scum, however Leave Your Money)
The Road to Hawaii
A man was walking on the beach and located a bottle. He looked around and did not see anyone therefore he opened it.
A jinnee appeared and thanked the person for lease him out. The jinnee aforementioned, "For your kindness i will be able to grant you one would like, however just one."
The man thought for a moment and aforementioned, "I have perpetually wished to travel to Hawaii however haven't been ready to as a result of i am fearful of flying and ships create ME claustrophobic and unwell. therefore I would like for a road to be engineered from here to Hawaii."
The jinnee thought for many minutes and aforementioned, "No, i do not suppose I will do this. simply consider all the work committed the pilings required to carry up the road and the way deep they'd have to be compelled to be to succeed in all-time low of the ocean. consider all the pavement that might be required. No, that's simply an excessive amount of to raise."
The man thought for a moment so told the jinnee, "There is one alternative issue that I actually have perpetually wished. i'd prefer to be ready to perceive girls. What makes them laugh and cry, why area unit they emperamental, why area unit they therefore troublesome to urge on with? essentially, what makes them tick?"
The jinnee thought-about for many minutes and aforementioned, "So, does one need 2 lanes or four?"
A short story...
Fire investigators on island have determined the explanation for ablaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a brief within the homeowner's fresh put in hearth hindrance warning device. "This is even worse than last year," aforementioned the agitated house owner, "when somebody poor in and scarf my new security system..."
You Know somebody Is From Hawaii If...
They have a separate fuse for his or her rice cookware.
Only currently they apprehend that cilantro is that the same as Chinese parsley.
They live the water for the rice by the knuckle of their finger.
They apprehend that market sells dish on that days.
They apprehend that Char Sung Hut is closed on weekday.
They can handle shoyu with inexperienced mango, li hing mui sticky bears, raw prod hot rice, and pearl tea (carnation milk in quandary with sugar) with creme round the bend.
Their white goods has half-empty jar of mango Indian relish from the '95 Punahou Carnival.
The condiments at the table area unit shoyu, ketchup, chili peppah watah, and kimchee. Also, takuwan, Hawaiian salt, slice onion, and pickle onion.
They go to island and their baggage home includes potato chips, manju, cream puffs, and guri guri for omiyage.
They suppose the four food teams area unit starch (rice), Spam, fried food, and punch.
A balanced meal has 3 starches: rice, macaroni, and bread.
They apprehend a hundred and one ways in which to mend their rubber slippers -- fifty mistreatment tape, fifty mistreatment glue, and one employing a follow poke the strap back in.
They sometimes use their open door for a room.
They wear 2 completely different color slippers along and that they do not mind.
Nice garments suggests that a tee shirt while not puka.
They are barefoot in most of their grammar school footage.
They have a slipper tan.
Their solely suit may be a garment.
They drive barefoot.
They have a minimum of 5 Hawaiian bracelets.
They ne'er ever, beneath any circumstances, wear socks with slippers, or associate degree acknowledgement shirt that matches their wife's frock.
They still decision the Blaisedell Center the HIC and it's Sandy's, not Sandy Beach.
They say "I going select fieldmower district attorney grass" after they mean "I'm aiming to mow the lawn."
They can perceive each word Bu Lai'a says and that they apprehend what his name suggests that.
They have a sister, cousin, auntie, or mother named "Honey Girl" or.....
Someone within the family named Boy, Tita, Bruddah, Sonny, Bachan, Taitai, Popo, or Vovo.
They still chant "Hanaokolele" once a devotee or workfellow goofs up.
They say "Shtraight," "Shtreet," and "Shtress."
They say "Da oxen" and also the alternative person says "Da Kine" and that they each apprehend what's "Da Kine."
The "Shaka" and also the "Stink Eye" area unit price k words.
They're looking at Epcot Center at Disneyworld and that they might say one thing to their sister and an entire alien says, "You're from Hawai'i, are not you?"
They feel guilty going a get-together while not serving to stop working.
The idea of taking one thing from a heiau is impossible.
They decision everybody older than themselves "Aunty" or "Uncle" and that they kiss everybody in acknowledgement and farewell.
They let alternative cars before them on the expressway and that they provide shaka to everybody United Nations agency lets them in. (And get mad if somebody they let in does not say thanks.)
Their philosophy is "Bumbai."
They would rather drag out the mechanical device and fill that unseaworthy tire each single morning than have it fastened.
The only time they honk their horn is once a year throughout the protection check.
If a baby wants a home, they offer him one. She/He becomes "Hanai."
They can live and let brook a smile in their heart.
Their male best friend's name is either Wade, Max, Nathan, or Melvin.
Owns 2 varieties of slippers: district attorney "good slippas" and district attorney "buss-up/stay home slippas."
Does not perceive the thought of North, South, East, and West, however instead provides directions as Mauka, Makai, Diamond Head, Ewa, and uses landmarks rather than street names.
The first issue they appear for within the Sunday paper is that the Long's ad.
They set out their slippahs before going into the house.
You raise what year they grad and wherever they grad from, {and then|then|so|and therefore} you say "eh you recognize so then..."
When it's done, they assert "pau!"
